It's a No-brainer !
Don't you just love it!
A no-brainer... when the whole of everything just comes together with the whole of everything in the whole of everything and things are as clear as a clear thing - peace, alignment, balance, harmony, alive and living - clarity :-)
No-brainers just happen. We can't train for them. take a course, have lessons, become a master of, No, no-brainers are beyond all that yet within the hustle and bustle of the ordinary, chaotic every day.
However,
in our process of development, we can become convinced we're experiencing no-brainers when in fact we are not. These false no-brainers are far from being no-brainers. In fact they have a category all of their own: own-wayers.
And it's incredibly difficult to ascertain between the two. That said, once you open yourself to the concept of your own no-brainers and own-wayers, the distinction will reveal itself to you and you begin to untangle all those debilitating no-brainer/own-wayer patterns.
So, I hear you ask, why not just stick to the way of the own-wayer?
Of course, it's really REALLY important the you live your own way in life. You have that core sense of who and what you are, what suits you, what nourishes and what depletes - basically, we all know when we're being ourselves... and when we're not. And it is of vital importance that you are true to who you really are. For example, if you're generous and honest to the core of your being, it's the worst thing in the world for you to be mean and dishonest. However, we can get stuck in ways of getting along in life. We're sort of generous and sort of honest without being really true to ourselves, these physiological processes get stuck and we get stuck in those processes. This is where the own-wayer is formed. The ways of the own-wayer are relatively easy to spot:
Frustration
I hate to break this to you, but life is way too chaotic to live well in any form of containment. I know, it's hard to believe at times, and sometimes wouldn't it just be lovely to be contained, sound and safe - still, unchanging, unwavering? Like all aspect of life, there are those sweet spots of stillness. And like all other aspects of life in this chaos, they are fleeting. For an own-wayer that will cause frustration.
This frustration self-perpetuates because:
Your world will be full of people having their own way
It's awful I know, but whatever we are, whatever our perception is our life experience. For an own-wayer, even when the kindest of kind souls are going the extra yard to be kind - yep, we'll see and treat them like they're 'just being that way to get their own way'. Rejecting them, we push them further and further away until such time life as we know it becomes full of those who are just like us - own-wayers. A self-fulfilled prophecy borne of people who are closed to other ways. We are indeed the change we see in the world... and that's not necessarily what we really, really want.
A Personal Story
Our apartment is leaking and we've been given the option to find alternative accommodation - that's the good news. Whilst we would much rather not move, getting to this point where we have been given permission to go ahead and terminate our tenancy has been an absolute nightmare: Realising the leaks, managing them through the bad weather, the clearing up and drying out process, dealing and living with the condensation as well as navigating our way through tenancy laws, regulations, rights and bodies all whilst keeping all the other interested parties in the loop, engaged and involved - all in just over 2 weeks has been a strain to say the least!
Relief struck 2 days ago when, having received a copy of the report, our real estate agent offered upfront a rent reduction along with the option to exit the lease should we find alternative accommodation.
The relief was beyond expectation and, somewhat ironically manifested in a flood of tears. Relief is such a funny thing. It's the opposite of grief in that it is a beautiful experience, yet the same as it is realised in waves... dispelling all those stresses, anxieties, fears and worries to help settle once more in a new reality - one without the hassle... and with freer options.
The best option of which was to move... or so we thought (no-brainer/own-wayer... making way for reality). Having lived 2 weeks of wet and 24/7 damp, we just wanted out. However, we like this place. I'm not saying that we couldn't like somewhere else - of course we could, but we have settled in and it is our home...
I realised my no-brainer/own-wayer later that evening. I was going through properties to rent, when I happened upon one that was a no-brainer. It was so obvious that it was going to be our best move, I stopped looking and even began 'planning/visualising' how it was going to happen. Fortunately, my no-brainer/own-wayer ways aren't that strong and come morning its strength and doggedness had begun to wane, making space for the whole of the rest of life to be at play in the way of things.
Fast forward to a week later and a new aspect of no-brainer/own-wayer revealed itself. The weather had been relatively good to us. We'd opened all the doors, windows and blinds letting in as much dry as possible, thinking that would dry everything out, for the rain to fall once more to reveal yet another leak. This I reported along with alerting the agent once more to the trickier wet area that we have no way of managing.
She sprang into action arranging it all to be dried out. This was rather surprising to say the least, as up until that point we'd been managing the drying process ourselves - the power of an official report in getting things moving!
Anyhoo, I was in two minds as to whether or not it was necessary, as like I said, we'd sorted it ourselves. However, there was the matter of the trickier leak, so I let things pan out.
On the first day they came, and with a bit of direction from me, opened up the whole carpet area at the front of the apartment (which I'd wanted from the get-go) as well as pulling up as much carpet as they could around the tricky area. They also arranged for another team to come to prop up the tricky area.
On the second day another issue arose. Earlier in the day I'd checked on one area we'd been managing by propping the carpet with pieces of timber to find the damp had turned to mould. The second team took this on board, pulled up even more of the carpet, propping it up and installing another fan. So now we had 2 powerful fans and a de-humidifier in a really small apartment. Not only that, but we had to crank up the heat to 26 degrees - for 48 hours! The noise has been deafening to the point where I just cannot think.
Yes, a whole new perspective on no-braining. I'm fine with anything intuitive, unconditional or of old, but rendered incapable of generating any new thoughts around anything tangible. Saying that, I'm still in the process of managing the drying so we can be shot of the din as soon as possible.
BTW I'm currently writing this on the balcony, freezing my butt off whilst not a foot away is nothing less that a relative sauna! Oh yes, a very noisy one...
This whole environmental stuff brings to mind the effect of environment on development - cognitive and otherwise. Personally, I enjoy a range of environments, but as recently discovered, not effective in noisy ones. As a child I remember finding sanctuary in the library, nature and yes, even in the toilet... peace and quiet.
Now, bring to mind the environment in which you grew up, as that helped form your own cognitive processes. It would have been a whole range of environments, right? Now, bring to mind those that suited you best. Allowing your current processes to be whatever they are, gently inviting in more of those that suit... our brains, body, mind, spirit soul and life.
So, yay to no-brainers and yay to no-brainer/own-wayers... in time we find our own whole-braining/body/being way with the whole of everything... x
What's happening on the therapies front
Not a lot!
As always, the aim of Living First therapies is to help the client build self-perpetuating constructively positive relationships with and in the whole of life for the whole of their life. To the point where happy transformations make for happy transformations...
To get through the last three weeks as well as I did, I have been doing a lot of stopping and breathing. Quite by chance at one point I found myself bringing my hands together at heart level - not in prayer, not in gratefulness nor recognition... just a gentle coming together with no strings attached. I quietly and gently brought my hands together and immediately felt less anxious, more relaxed... more whole with everything.
A couple of days later I happened upon Sadhguru on YouTube explaining that the best yoga you can practice is bringing your hands together at your heart centre. He called it unifying and you know what? It is.
So here's to happy transformations... in all their weird and wonderful ways.
Making Better Choices
Now, would you like to make better choices in your life?
I know it can be tough to break out of old habits, make different choices and step into new ways of living and being, especially with all the distractions we have to live with, but it is possible.
If it is something you are interested in, I am in the process of building a different practice and to do so I need people to practice with - to find out what works and what doesn't. It is experimental, but built on firm foundations with solid approaches to ensuring individual health, wellbeing, safety and growth. It is free of charge, but if you feel you'd like to pay something back, you can do so in your own way, pay it forward or contribute to further research.
Email info@livingfirst.co.uk to get the process of Making Better Choices started... with the option to participate in your own time and at your own pace.
The Reiki Circle
A wonderful opportunity to opt out for half an hour, let go, loosen, breathe new life into all those bits that get entangled and recharge:
Sunday, 13th November at 8pm Canberra time, 9am UK time.
