'Worry is a punishment I give myself... for nah-thing!'
So, why do I do it?
Worry stems from a nervousness. From there it has a good old journey around the senses picking up on past experiences and generating pictures of what might be happening. It's a circular process which means that once it gets going, your whole body gets on board with the notion.
Cortisol is released, the 'danger, danger' signal that heightens awareness and gets your pulse a-racing.
I think at this point I tend to stop breathing - I know, definitely not the thing to do. It affects others in any other number of ways.
So, worry is a combination of physicality, experiences, senses, intelligences - all good stuff really. It's all just a bit out of whack. So much so, it really is punishing on the whole of us - mind, body, spirit and soul.
Worry is an experience of impending doom. It's dark, dank, I want to say lifeless, but it's not that at all. There is a lot of life tied up in worry all of which is gruesome.
Consider for a moment an awful shock. It all began for me way back when my eldest sister, god bless her, was smacked so hard she landed flat on her back. I have no memory of what actually happened and I think that's why and when my worrying started. Up until that moment, whilst challenging, my home had always been safe. From that moment on it wasn't... was anywhere?
Fast forward to this morning. pottering around in the garden, I glanced the Lemon Thyme. I'd contained this one in a pot, as it does have the tendency to spread somewhat. In retrospect, I can see I have a strong sense for progress, next steps, the future if you like. A sort of 'where to from here' that plays around inside. It's a strange thing like the future living in the present, part of which requires I play my part in its making. There is no beginning or end to this. The glance didn't trigger the notion. It's all an ongoing living process. However, what I did experience this morning, which I have never experienced before was a gorgeously peaceful - serene even, experience of knowing.
Long-time worrier, finally realising a sense of peace.
Yes, that future-presence has been strong in me for a very long time and for me to be so peaceful with zero drive to do anything at all. Well, that is a real blessing.
My worries have been a punishment. For when I worry I can't possibly know, and I worry when I don't know.
It's okay to not know... and that makes me smile - not knowing is the stuff of potential, possibility - adventure!
News on the Living First front
Totnes Natural Health Centre (TNHC)
Awww... letting the light shine in, out and throughout... whilst taking the tiniest of wee baby steps - no more throwing myself in at the deep end! Not with this, it's too important to me.
Next step, there are no next steps - because it's just happening! O r g a n i c a l l y... aaaahhhh...
My volunteer shift is Monday mornings where I'll be offering 3, 1 hr Reiki sessions, with the option to take private sessions for either Reiki or Transformational Therapy during the rest of the week.
Bookings are being taken now for w/c 9th August, phone:
Totnes Natural Health Centre: 01803 864 587
for Monday's donation-only slots (sliding scale, £40-25, £14 low income)
Me: 07737 196 669
for private sessions
The Writing reviews are happening!
Initial feedback number 2...
'I thoroughly enjoyed this read... would definitely recommend it to others'
'I do know I will be reading it again. I need to'
Honestly and truly I had zero expectation from the writing, and to receive such feedback is totally mind-boggling.
Global Reiki Circle is Sunday, 8th August
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be safe, be sure, be you-ti-full
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(photo courtesy of Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash)