Long time, no blog update! Instead I have been writing about anxiety and ways of transforming out of being anxious. So here I am writing this in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep. I was/am excited!
There is no getting away from it, being and doing as you like sounds dreadfully selfish. However, being and doing so holistically: universally, naturally and sustainably has to be the way to tread, especially when you are of a compassionate nature.
In my world of holistic health, practitioners know the importance of ensuring the fullness of your own cup before spilling out into the wider world. However, it is soooo difficult to know when that fullness occurs, as well as how, when and to whom to direct your life-enhancing overspill. Finding the right balance is decidedly tricky. That said, when you have your best intentions alive and living in there somewhere, getting on and doing something (Living First) is better than sitting back and wondering what, when, where etc.
The motivation for getting on and doing lives in us. Yes, those motivational energies can get waylaid by any number of life's demands, responsibilities and distractions. Even so, it remains.
Giving Voice to Underlying Motivations
Over the last few years I have allowed myself to 'give voice' to these deeply personal and holistic motivations by unconsciously writing... something, anything, whatever emerges, at the front of my next year's new diary. At the beginning of 2023 I wrote in my diary,
Bringing together the likes:- inside, outside and through
At the time I had no clue how this would manifest, and I acknowledged the feelings of selfishness that arose - embarrassment even, and let happen whatever it would be.
And yes, now five months in, and I am very much liking my likes...
Whilst I am well aware there is process involved, I primarily live in the experience of living.
It was funny the other day when I realised a sense of dropping out. It was lovely. I was still in it, alive and living, just not entangled in life's dramas - nice.
The upshot being that I have become more likeable, and so too have the people around me! And some of have been really lovely.
From Canberra to Wellington
I had a fabulous time in Canberra. Of course, like anywhere there were issues. Overall though and on reflection, my life was like 10 months in a retreat... and yes, you will find issues at retreats too - in fact wherever you travel! It's the growth and development process through the challenges that set the stage for where we travel next. The friends I met, the places I visited, the nature, wildlife, space, clean air and water provided all the nourishment I needed well over and beyond what I needed to progress. And for this experience I am well and truly grateful.
Then, just as things activity-wise began to dry up in Canberra, Wellington, New Zealand came a-calling.
Honestly and truly, I sometimes think I don't deserve all life delivers... to be honest, I still get blown away by life - in a good way, so I guess I am a glass pretty much full kind of girl. And it is true, whenever I feel down, dejected or going through something particularly tough I do hunker on down inside myself. In this respect I mostly only show myself when I'm feeling good about myself... I don't know why this is, but I guess it is just the way I am. The thing is, it seems to have been a really good way for me to be. I can't remember the last time I had to hunker on down... for the most part, I am happy!
Where to from here...
I have often ventured out to be confronted with a fork in the road. And yes, there it is again. It really is quite bizarre, as I feel that in some way I get to a place of choice or decision and my motivations scramble around alighting voices in different parts of me. Heart, head, guts, nature all have a say, and of course on an holistic route all should be on board...
Time for meditation...
With the flow,
Breathing softly as you go