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On Becoming a Counsellor 2

Updated: Jan 25

Is it one ‘l’ or two?

So, I have been enjoying Lori Gottlieb’s ‘Maybe you Should Talk to Someone’ – a lot! So not a textbook, and I’m learning as well as being inspired – super!

Anyhoo, we get to the crux of the matter – I think the number one reason people pay someone for therapy is to satisfy a fundamental need,

to understand and be themselves

I say, better for people to be what feels normal than try, and fail, and fail again whilst getting even more screwed up from trying to be someone – something even, (eeks!) they are not!

As far as becoming a counsellor goes then:

1. We are all born to flourish

2. Through that we grow

3. Growth can be painful, and help can see you through

4. As I begin from the get-go liking you (see last week’s blog), there’s a good chance you’ll come out the other side liking yourself too

5. Be yourself... warts and all as best you can.

Notice, I haven’t yet mentioned the problems people bring into the therapy space.

Primarily, this is because that is the reason they are there - something's happened to change their status quo in such a way to reveal a problem. The thing is, whilst I'm there taking it all in, my attention is in the broader view - with the person: who they are, what they are all about, and their future.

Some find this approach a bit off-putting. I'm not there to solve problems as such. Rather, I'm there to spend quality time with them whilst they process all the changes needed to get to where they need to be... and it gets results.

One client in Totnes, a lovely woman who'd had it tough said at the end of one of her sessions,

'I didn't get what I wanted, but I got what I needed'

Also as a generalist, and a somewhat unorthodox one at that, I was worried about having to fit into a stereotype of what makes a good counsellor. Once again, Gottlieb to the rescue! Not only was her own therapist not (to my mind) conventional, she related a story of how sometimes, even in the most darkest of times, people will seek out the not so normal.

Yes, I was relieved to see that not everyone needs a therapist with a specific field of expertise. Sometimes, especially when going through a major shift, what we need is a break away from the norm. Obviously, not a complete break away. That would be nigh-on impossible and ill-advised – I believe it’s what we in the trade call denial. What I mean is breathing space.

This was highlighted by Lori’s patient Julie (i), who, having been diagnosed with life-threatening cancer at an horrendously young age, and untimely stage in her life, wanted a therapist outside the specialist realm.

Sometimes you just need to be alive, living, breathing, being with maybe a little light-heartedness thrown in for good measure to reconnect with the, and be whole.

Your soul knows – right!

And if you're drawn to find out more, do get in touch.

'til the next time

News on the business front

So, a lovely new friend here in Wellington agreed to review Wakey, Wakey! for me. This week I received her feedback. I'd been wanting to freshen it up, iron out the creases etc. so thought a fresh pair of eyes would help no end - it did!

I don't know how long it will be in the edit process, but in the meantime, the old version is still available for your delectation here through Amazon Australia and Amazon UK and even Singapore, amongst many others!

No takers for Reiki just yet – a little disappointing that the Facebook ad didn’t do anything, and so far no joy with my mailbox drop!

A really important note to self: when something doesn’t work, it’s pointless continuing to repeat the process – stop.

Change of tack required

So, I stopped, became the silence, for this to emerge…


(i) Maybe you should talk to someone by Lori Gottlieb. I was able to get my first copy out from the local library

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