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People who have Loved and Lost

'You can't stop some people...! '

... and neither should we try!

However, we all do need to stop, take proper, wholistic stock and come back refreshed.

Did you see the documentary last night on BBC 2 - 'Reclaiming Amy'? I highly recommend it.

It's ten years on and things have begun to settle a little for all those who were closest to her.

Booze, drugs of any sort just don't suit some people, especially when it's like you're allergic to life - but my goodness they do the trick!

Amy was an absolute beauty with an abundance of life in a life that must have seemed bonkers to her.

Yes, people like Amy, of which there are many, need to be free to be.

Two reasons:-

  1. They have abundance overflowing - life's better for them being in it

  2. When they can't be free, they make their own freedom... and that's no good to anyone. All we need is look at Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson to realise - freedom can't be made... or bought.

Free spirits, forces of nature, stars one and all. My sister, Veronica had that star quality. There's no putting your finger on it. You know though when you're in its company. And yes, even when its passed... I can just see it in this photo. Yes, she could even bring paper to life!

Star quality is just so gorgeous, it cuts through all life's aggro and makes you smile. People like my sister are absolute pleasures to be around.

She too died young, 55.

I grieve her passing.

And yes, whilst I have the memories, I miss her.

That is love.

For years, 15 of them, I've turned those deep, painful emotions into words and activities. I've made myself useful. This has helped, they've distracted me, but this week it's been impossible to do so...

Yes, it's been an underlying battle -

Psychological (Mental) health vs Emotional vs Physical vs Spiritual vs Existential vs Experiential health. In the wholistic world there's no battle to be fought - time, space, good nourishment and a bit of hanging on in there with good living practice is all it needs to rebalance things out.

It's not been easy though...

I also lost my mum this year, bless her she reached the age of 'a week short of her 93rd birthday'. Another star. Oh my goodness, had she'd been free to be - Wow! That would have been something to see. And it still hurts, always has really, that she hadn't had a full chance at giving her life a good go.

My mum's mum killed herself (or so I heard) mum never said, when mum was very young, 11 I think, maybe 13. Anyway, her dad remarried soon afterwards and mum who wasn't working like her older siblings, was expected to do the chores and, when a younger half-brother arrived on the scene, to look after him. Pretty shitty eh! But you know what - whatever landed on her plate she lived with it all amazingly... and still came out shining. She was an absolute marvel.

This week I've felt the hurt deep, deep down and throughout... yesterday I wished, I could cry.

Today I did.

I was eating my porridge and it reminded me of mum's rice pudding - creamy, rich, so, so good. And so, of course (!) I went to an old recipe book. There was a well-weathered piece of paper inside, being used, I thought as a bookmark. I opened it up to reveal one of mum's recipes. Handwritten with such care. It was, no, it is alive with her presence. I put my hand over it and it was like holding hers.

Yes, I'd got what I'd wished for the day earlier - tears and tears and tears.

There is no holding back the hurt and making it into something else any more, and that's a good thing. It shows I'm beginning to live that freedom, realising the words that popped out minutes before I went to bed last night,

'this world can be enough, more than enough for you to live your life to the full.

Yes, folks, the world is big enough...

To love people is one of the best experiences ever - be exuberant. To lose them is one of the worst - weep openly whenever.

Underneath all of that experience, pleasure and pain is you - what's important to you - what it is for you to live your life to the full.

It's best you live it all... without the props.

All addiction sucks.

News on the Living First front

Totnes Natural Health Centre (TNHC)

So yes, I'm in!

Awww... letting the light shine in, out and throughout... whilst taking the tiniest of wee baby steps - no more throwing myself in at the deep end! Not with this, it's too important to me.

Leaflets look fab - even though I do say so myself - thank you to Martin for the photo and good old Canva.

They'll be in the centre on the next induction session 4th August.

Next step, there are no next steps - because it's just happening! O r g a n i c a l l y... aaaahhhh...

My volunteer shift is Monday mornings where I'll be offering 3, 1 hr Reiki sessions, with the option to take private sessions for either Reiki or Transformational Therapy during the rest of the week.

Bookings are being taken now for w/c 9th August, phone:

Totnes Natural Health Centre: 01803 864 587

for Monday's donation-only slots (sliding scale, £40-25, £14 low income)


Me: 07737 196 669

for private sessions

I love the idea of it - it makes me smile... one chapter ends and the next page lifts in the breeze for another to begin.

The Writing is happening!

Initial feedback...

'I already know I want to buy this book'

Oh my word ha! I almost exploded with love when I got this message from a reviewer. Yes, an amazingly wonderful bolt from the blue that hit home - gorgeously

(that reminds me, I must chivvy them along - it has been 2 weeks after all oxo)

Global Reiki Circle is Sunday, 8th August

Click here and join our Facebook Group and stay in the loop

Interested in finding out more...

Click here to book a complementary 30 min call back

above all,

be safe, be sure, be you-ti-full


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